Tuesday, May 12, 2015

I'm Okay with Inconsistency

I know that I rarely post here anymore. It seems that every May I get the urge to blog again for a few weeks and then by mid-June I'm into "camp" season at the horse farm and I end up spending 14 hour days in the stables, only to come home and collapse into bed (or cry quietly from exhaustion while my husband prepares dinner... yes, it happens.)

I have been ruminating on the nature of blogging, and how when you really get going you find yourself feeling accountable to your readers. At first it's a great feeling, knowing folks are enjoying your writing and looking forward to the next post, but if gone about the wrong way (see "Dark Days of Winter" posts) you can burn out quickly, and apparently quite permanently.

Often I find myself thinking "I want to write about this! I'll go make up a blog post!" which is quickly stifled by a much louder, desperate voice in my head that says "Nooo! You can't get caught up in that again. You don't have time!" So then I sit on my ideas, and snap a few photos that no one gets to see and I grumpily concede to the louder voice of reason... I don't have time for a regular blog.

This morning I found myself wanting to write about a few things that I've been up to this week and for some reason a new voice popped up in my head. "I'll be damned if I let the claustrophobia of having a regular blog make me feel like I can't post!" No, I won't post regularly. I might only post 5 times a year, but if someone wants to read what I write it'll at least be there for them to do so.

I used to take such pleasure in getting up in the wee hours of the morning to write. Let's see if I can get back to doing that, even if only on occasion.

/end rant


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